Job Skills

Following are the job requirements for the position of Not for Profit Suburban Environmental Engineer

Training: no formal training will be provided - expected to learn while working, serious mistakes could result in family upheaval and possibly jail time

Duration: This is a non-ending position. You may attempt to resign, flee the country or change your name, but be warned, they will still find you.

You will be required to maintain the following systems and all of their counterparts:

Cleaning - Clean and Maintain 3000 sq feet of living space - 4 bedrooms, 3 full and 2 half baths, 1 kitchen, laundry room, living & family areas, dining room, basement toy room - 1 car - I generally do not claim responsibility for car #2 or for the garage

Food - Plan, Shop for, organize, store and prepare food for 2-4 kids and 1-3 adults - Gather new recipes - learn how to cook

Clothing - Plan, shop for, organize, wash, dry, fold, and donate clothing for 2 children and 2 adults - dress or assist in dressing 2 children and 1 adult - Stay current on fashion trends, styles, sizes - Monitor sales - Purchase out of season clothes at clearance prices for the next season

Hair & Hygiene - Regularly bathe 1 adult and 2 children - includes ear piercing hair washing sessions - Style hair in the morning - daily - before play, school, errands etc. - Keep cuts and style up to date, neat and well cared for - Schedule hair appointments as needed

Teaching

Social Skills - Making friends, introductions, getting along, sharing, imaginative play, organizing or joining playgroups or other group activities, ability to stand up for oneself appropriately

Religious Training - Reading scripture, prayer, faith, finding God in our daily lives, gratitude, love, charity, forgiveness

Basic academic skills - Letters, numbers, reading, writing, homework & study skills, time management, ability to tackle challenging projects, following instructions, computer use and safety

Gross and Fine Motor Skills - crawl, walk, run, jump, skip, hop, dance, lace, paint, build, sort, scissor skills,

Health & Hygiene - Potty training, dressing oneself, teeth brushing, face and hand washing, bathing, how to wash ones own hair, Proper diet, proper use of snack foods, covering mouth,

Manners - Please, thank you, your welcome, I'm sorry, I forgive you

Responsibility - Putting clothes, shoes & jackets away, cleaning up toys and messes when finished,

Edutainment - play dough, art projects, field trips, games, coloring, broaden horizons

Talents - provide money and opportunities to explore, develop, and practice their talents and interests

Self Image - Loved, appreciated, Child of God, positive self - esteem, confidence in abilities, confidence in intelligence, confidence in social situations

Safety - Stranger safety, Fire Safety, Storm safety, what to do in an emergency, 911, household products & medicines, matches, rough play, dangerous activities, car safety, crossing the street,