Fate, as they call it has chosen that I should fall behind on my writing prompts. My little man has had a crazy, monstrous, bone chilling frightening case of the post-flu post-cold hives, which included an 8 hour NAP during which we got next to nothing done because we were listening to the monitor and sneaking in to watch him breathe and wondering if we should wake him or if he was going to wake up any second. PHEW. Did you read that all in one breath? Finally he pooped in his sleep and gave us good reason to wake him. That was when we realized the hives had spread to his face and got on the phone with the doctor and got another dose of benadryl. There is some improvement this morning but we are still watching and listening for any signs of trouble breathing at which time we are ordered to 911 it. SO...........................................................
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Writing Prompt #9
Talk about this quote: "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."
Fate again huh. Well then....
I have been taught and I do happily and comfortably after much soul searching and comparison believe that before we were born we lived in Heaven with God and we were spirits.
I believe that we wanted to be like God our Father who had a body of flesh and blood. You know the whole human experience - pain, hunger, pleasure, hot, cold, softness, bumpiness, wind, sun, all the things that make having a body so much better than having just a spirit.
I believe that life in heaven was organized - for lack of a better word - that we met and talked and were taught together, and that we knew what we would be like, some of the challenges we would face, some of the people we would meet, and we knew who our families would be. More importantly we got to choose - to say for ourselves - YES! I accept these wonderful people who are going to seem like a value pack of hopeless cases when we get to earth - but look at them now, so eager, so happy, so cute (little cheek pinch). This is not to say that our fate was sealed or that there are any guarantee but, because we have free agency, we can choose our path. I just think there are different paths that will lead us to where we are meant to be - some faster, slower, harder, easier, and even some that won't lead us there at all.
Does that change how I view my family experience? Today? Completely! The knowledge that we knew each other, and liked each other, and chose each other gives me hope. As a child and even as a teen and a young adult? That knowledge had a strong influence on me but it was never a dominating factor in how I related to my family. I think it takes many many years of life to even become conscious that you can CHOOSE how to relate to your family members. The intricacies of our relationships are so ingrained from the years of repetition that even once you are conscious of it - there are deep seeded habits that will take just as long to break.
I love my family. But, I do have to be careful with myself - because I let them push my buttons - and push me right over the edge.
On to choosing my friends.... again, I believe there are friends that were meant to be our friends, plain and simple. Soul Mates. Karen is one. I don't remember getting to know Karen. We met, and it seems like we always knew each other, that we didn't even try to be friends - it is more like we couldn't help it - couldn't stop it if we tried. At the time I met Karen I was friends with Melissa. I regret that over time I seemed to just push Melissa away. I feel bad that I did that to someone who didn't deserve it. It wasn't out of malice - but more out of having tunnel vision. We remained friends - but I know she always felt slighted.
There are many situations in my life where I feel like I have been brought together with different friends for a specific purpose. There are other people in my life who I have looked at and said to myself - I would like to be a friend to this person - and then in my 1/2 ass way - I go out and try to make a friendship. There are also those of whom I said this - and then sadly did nothing.
There have been times in my life when I was weaker - that I clung to other unhealthy people - because that is where I was comfortable. But as I have moved forward I have looked for healthier relationships that are strengthening and inspiring.
NOW, I am completely exhausted.
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