In part - it is because it takes me a long time to get close or feel close to someone else.
Someone brings me a birthday present and I spend a lot of time wondering if they want to be my friend.
INSTEAD! of accepting their obvious token of friendship and being happy with it!
My anxiety and depression keeps me from going places, doing things, being with people as often as I would like - which in turn prevents me from getting to deep in my friendships. Don't get me wrong - often I go, I do, but it's a struggle, wind me up, push me, drag me, get me there - then I'm fine. Sigh Sigh.
In another part - I tend to be a good listener - which attracts friends who are TALKERS! Which is fine if they can talk and listen... but it isn't often that I find people who can do both.
I have a couple of friends who I am 100% sure have no idea of what I do, what the big issues in my life are etc. etc. - and I've know these girls for years - like 8 years 10 years? Don't worry - it's not you... these girls don't read my blog either .... :)
So, although I think these girls think I am a fabulous wonderful bestie - you can see why I might not feel the same.
On the flip are a few friends I have who even though I don't always do my best to stay in touch with them - they always remember my issues and ask about specific things, ask about my family, my parents, my siblings, my pets.... and I know they care because they listened in the first place.
So, I could go on into a soap box segue about the 5 love languages and blah, blah, blah... but I won't.
I am meaning to say that I have been blogging for 6 years ( 476 posts). Sometimes I get on a roll. Other times life overwhelms me and I disappear from BLOG LAND. It's never because I don't have something to say. I always have TOO much to say about my family. Because I adore them. I am so lucky to be a mom to 3 amazing and wonderful children. But, it's hard for me to get around to the other stuff that matters to me. I think that's just part of being a mom.
I write to keep up my skills, improve my skills, improve my mind, journal the life of our family, and to connect with long distance family & friends.
After all this time I finally had a reader say to me ... "hey! where are you!?!?!?" and point out that it's almost been an entire month since I've written. That felt good to hear.
Thank you my amazing reader Mike!
So, here's this most likely really boring post ... and it will be propmtly followed by the post I really NEED to write - which will be much more interesting and include pictures.
Happy Blogging until tomorrow.
That was not a boring post. You opened up and revealed quite a bit about yourself. As I new follower, I feel that I have gotten to know you a little better.
ReplyDeleteHi My Dear. I was crying earlier today and some of those tears were for you. I miss you. A lot! And I do hope things are going well for you. I have all these projects I've been working on and I wish I was there to get your opinion because you are so creative! I know you'll keep your kids busy this summer with lots of fun crafts.
ReplyDeleteThanks girls for the positive affirmations!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, when I mean to open up it doesn't work out that way and when I don't I am more honest than ever.
Maybe in a few days I will post some of my summer ideas too.
I do have big plans - just a little different from usual.
i can say you explained me and so many of my feelings to a T. Friends... not too close. Takes a special person to like me! haha. But I always felt so comfortable around you. And i loved being around you! Really truly comfortable and that's saying a lot for me especially since we were friends for such a short time. You wear your heart on your FRONT yArd and sooo many people love you. Dont' be afraid. And don't change!
ReplyDeleteThat end part felt like I was signing a year book no?
amie