5 Months

How is it possibly, possible that 5 months have gone by? I look across the waiting room at the pediatricians office and see the newborn, so sweet and tiny, just like you! And then, you lurch from my lap trying to get to the big toy block on the floor just like all the big boys. O.k., so not so much like you anymore.  Your sweet innocent face, and passive eyes are replaced with wonder and curiosity and delight. You hold your self straight and tall and can turn from sitting facing out to see if I'm still there and smile at me.  I look at YOU with wonder and curiosity and delight.

 Gone is the recovering, gone is the sleeplessness that like a raccoon in a Mallards nest, robs thought and reason and pounds mercilessly on thin skinned eyelids and heavy bones.  Knowing that we need to look to the future and help you to learn the sleep skills you need to have, we still relish the 1am feeding.  Blissful it is, that a handful of kisses and a head massage from mamma's lips, doesn't ruin you, and you go right to sleep when we lay you back in your crib.  Bittersweet, the feel of your body lying against my chest, the limp needfulness of the early weeks replaced with the choice to lay yourself close to me, and I treasure it.

I lay you down and sometimes you roll to your side and go fast asleep.  One night you got yourself turned just right that you could finally reach the monitor with your feet and boy did you kick that little tiny light until we had to cover it with painters tape.

Others will ask me kindly, "how are you, what have you been up too?" and I wonder if I should tell them: that I watch you all day, that I hold you, and feed you, and read to you and kiss you, and snuggle you and walk with you, and kiss you, and play with you, and kiss you, and remind myself that I have other children, and a house, and that I should dress myself, and then I kiss you just a little more.

You, being the last, are very much like a Yours, Mine and Ours baby.  We bring you into bed in the mornings before the girls are up and we stare at you and laugh with you and snuggle.  We hold you and talk about how sweet you are as the three of us snuggle together on the sofa.  Together, Daddy and I marvel over the wonder that is you. Together, we ALL marvel over the sweetness of you.






I could go on gushing a roaring yummy chocolate fountain of mush.  Already my heart aches for my baby, just as it skips an excited beat for each new milestone we meet.  Slow down Father time, hold back those ticking hands with boldness. Let me snuggle, watch and kiss him a little longer, just a little longer.