A Single Day

On this grand St Patty's Day - the celebrated birth day of our Lucy 

  (aka Patty one of 8 St Pattys Day pups)

I would be a bit ridonculous if I did not record this day in all its victories and all of its wondrous horrors.  

Let's start by saying this....  We named Lucy, Lucy the Valiant, after Lucy Pevancy of Narnia. 

Well it turns out she is not terribly valiant. 

What she is - is a nose.  A nose with legs that is.  

And I don't take her for walks - I take her for a smell.  

And she doesn't jog, or run, she sprints.  What the Hey!

That is why someday soon we are going to train her to do fly ball. 

Jokes on them though - they'll have to train us first!

SO, 

I've been trying to get to sleep at a more human hour lately. 

Quite surprisingly it is actually helping!  I am waking up easier - and miracle of miracles - quite often in the morning I have even been able to speak. 

It is well known that the Hastings women have a genetic defect that sometimes renders them incapable of mouth movement.  Mind you it is not a lack of mental activity. If you were to say read our minds during these silent moments you would be astounded at the magnitude of thought. 

Come to think of it - maybe therein lies the explanation of it all.  The overproduction of thought renders us speechless.  

Hmmmm. 

Anyway, I took my dearest to his train this morning, as I do most every morning, then came home and roused the wee ones from their beds.  

Yes, I was met with usual moans and groans and a few tears but really,  I'm becoming immune to those. 

I ushered them off to dress for the day with confidence as I had spent yesterday removing all clothing from their room except for what they need for 5 days.  

Still in the sparse surroundings and the pre-selected outfits, getting dressed was nearly impossible.  They couldn't move.  

30 minutes later they are finally dressed and downstairs.  Their hair was worthy of a wind tunnel and their blank stares worthy of a psych ward.  Hello ladies! 15 minutes to go.  Nothing.  By this time I am quite sure that even though they each wore green to bed that somehow the evil little leprechauns had got into their beds and bit them both, leaving them drunk on their noxious venom.  

Bus comes. 

We run - Through the last skating rinks of snow turned ice that refuse to melt. 

No one dies.  

Wave good byes.

Sigh.  

So I sit down to my computer with a cup of Everyday Detox/ Blueberry tea, I am excited to see the pictures I have just uploaded from my phone.

They're not there. 

Nothing is there.

I plugged my phone into computer to download 400 pictures.  Instead it deleted them all and replaced them with 93 pictures from my old phone. Grrr. AND it restored all my settings from my previous phone - EXCEPT for my music - can't find that!  

Did I push some button that read "click here if you want to pretend this new phone is your old phone"

3 hours later and no luck figuring out where in the space time continuum my 400 pictures have gone.

Tidy up.

Run a load of wash. 

Re-arrange the furniture.

Walk the dog, and the neighbors cat. 

Bus comes back. 

Leaves me a 3 year old.  He looks like mine so I keep him. 

3 year old insists on peeing and pooping in the potty - because well - he really wants to go to Target to get Boulder - a Transformers Rescue Bot.  

He does it! He colors in all the squares on his potty chart so off we go to Target. 

Mission Accomplished!

We come home to find that Lucy tried knitting. (yes I failed to kennel the naughty little pup) Essentially she tee peed the inside of our house with yarn. Sigh. 

Clean up.

Make Dinner. 

Supervise Homework. 

Play outside. 

Look outside to see what kids are doing. 

HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN!!!

I looked outside and what did I see?????? I saw my 10 year old dipping my MOP in a mud puddle and using it to paint the deck with mudd! (My 3 year old Max wouldn't have even dared do that!?!?!?!)

What do I do?  Well I do what every over tired, over worked, penny pinching mom would do.... I storm outside to yell at her. 

As I ran outside to yell at her - I realized that the back hatch of my mini van was open and stuck in the garage door that was half open and the garage door was coming off the track. 

What do you say to that?  

Evidently a pluthera of not very nice things is appropriate - oh and very loud.  It's gotta be loud.  

In my screaming fit that ensued I may or may not have slammed some doors and bullied my children into horrid acts of servitude like dishes.  

But then the noise quieted.  Oh yeah, that noise was me. 

I looked around.  Hmmm.  Of all the horrors I could think of I discovered that I couldn't find the phone OR the garage door opener.  I had lost the phone and the garage door opener. 

Look at me joining the losers club. 

Time marches on and we crank out homework and such in my newly re-arranged living room, dining room and family room.  Yes it has been 2 months already.  

Dinners nearly ready. 

Hubbys gonna be late.  Again. 

You know you never know whats going to happen at work when you're trying to teach databases how to trade commodities like mashed potatoes and spaghettio's and jello.  Tricky, risky, business. 

FINALLY the family is reunited.  

There is much barking and hugging. 

The corned beef is sliced, the cabbage dished, the sauerkraut is be-spooned and the 1000 island dressing is de-lided.  The prayer is said and ALL of the Rescue Bots are prayed for. (Boulder, Skye, Heatwave, Chase, Bumblebee, uhhhhh...)

We eat and we laugh and talk and listen to stories about crocodiles and small fish.  

Plates cleared. 

Sorta. 

An Irish jig begins to play in the background.  

The crowd is summoned.  

Because we don't know how to clog some of us are doing running man, others are flailing, then we begin to do a combination of swing dancing and country line dancing.  But it works.  Were laughing and smiling and no one threw up from dancing right after eating.  (Probably because most of them didn't really eat and will be STARVING in no less than 5 minutes.)

Finally we say goodnight, give hugs, a final prayer (for the rescue bots).

Off to bed they go. 

Goodnight.  

Goodnight again.  

Yes we have food in the kitchen.  

No you can not bring an entire mug of bright red juice into the bonus room.  

I'm sorry she's so mean.  

Goodnight.

GO!!! TO!!! SLEEP!!!

Start the dishwasher, discover trash shredded and strewn across the 1st floor.  I guess my nose - I mean my dog - wanted some Corned beef and cabbage too.  

Sigh.

Down a bottle of water. 

Watch the clock tick. 

Doze. 

Soon it will be time to take the middle one on her mid-night potty break.

Happy. Tired. Confused. Hey my feet don't hurt!!!

This really is bare bones yet. it is truly amazing how much one can actually squeeze into a single day.