The Music Man

We went with a large group of friends last night to see The Music Man at the O'Fallon Repertoire Theater. It was quite disappointing but I loved it anyway. I would never rank it among my favorite musicals ever but there is some really great music and it comes with many great memories for me.

In fact a lot of the music that I sing the girls to sleep by comes from the Music Man - I sing "Good night my Izzy Goodnight my love" and Lida Rose and I have loved the Wells Fargo Wagon since I was a little girl.

So let's reminisce...

It must have still been first semester of my Senior year - I was dating Scott - I was doing the lights. I was friends with Eric and Heath was I friends with Stephanie yet? How did I get to be friends with Steph? I don't remember, it's like she was just always there. Maybe it was through Lisa .... hmmm Lisa Porter yeah thats it.

So anyway, Matt says we met on the set of Music Man. Probably opening night I guess - he remembers what I was wearing. It was this Sunday Dress - small blue and white flowers with a wide white collar, a deep V back. It was pretty but SO 80's I can not believe I actually wore that to school!!!!! OMG!!!! He say's there was a group of us at the edge of the stage talking and he was introduced to me as Eric's brother. It is wierd because I had been looking for Eric's brother all year (you can't meet Eric and not wonder what his siblings might be like) so you would think I would remember finally meeting Matt. BUT, it is entirely possible that I didn't learn his last name at that time. Anyway, I remember the dress, I remember sitting at the edge of the stage.... But, I was dating Scott.

I remember working on the set a lot with Betsy - we loved using power tools! Crazy! I still do. I've just got to get over my issues with the table saw and then get crackin' around here. I remember thinking about Scott, a lot but trying not to "appear" obsessed. I remember a girl named Stacey who said she was a Lesbian (I had never met a real live one before :) - I had a lot of fun with her. Why did I always have a tendency to befriend the wild & rebelious types?

Can you believe that was 16 years ago?

I have friends who have 16 year old kids. I guess if I had been too rebelious back then I could have a 16 year old kid too! Shmoly Heck! I'm happy to stick with my 2 and 4 year olds even if it always knocks us into different social circles.

I do often wonder why things turned out how they did. Turned out that when 2nd semester rolled around Matt was in my history class. I didn't know it until after Scott and I - uh - broke up? I guess you call it. We sort of just stopped one day - and I was too timid, ridiculous, chicken, pathetic, whatever you want to call it - to find out why!?!?!

So really I knew John - something or other - because he sat behind me and pulled out all my loose hair all through class. Someone said he was flirting but I kinda thought it was gross! I knew Christy Berge and Sundee Bender and Melody Derossi but I didn't know Matt and I didn't know he was in my class until we started some project in the library.

I guess when you are Becca - and you are relatively scared of the human race - you just don't look around much because you are to frightened of being noticed and poor Matt sat behind me.

I never did talk to Scott again (there is a bizzare side story there that I will get to in a bit).

Matt and I pretty much noticed each other in the library - and the rest was history. A messy, complicated, drama filled history at that. We dated for 4 1/2 years. Went to JCCC together for 1 year. Spent 1 year apart. Hooked up again at KSTATE where we both completely lost our minds.

Thanks to my dear sweet cousins Don & Susan who Matt admired more than anything - Matt took the discussions and we both SLOWLY began to turn our lives around.

We got married, Matt was baptized 1 month later, a month after that he left for the Army and 4 months of hell for both of us. When he came home we were both on Academic probabtion, we got evicted and we hated our jobs, so we packed up our small little home (it took the 2 of us 2 hours to load our moving truck) and our 2 cats and headed for Kansas City.

On December 31st 2006 we found an apartment that allowed cats, required no deposits and gave 1st months rent free. We also each found a job at the same restraunt so we could share a car. Our lives have been blessed since then - I guess there is a balance to it all. Inspite of some of the serious crap we have been through - we really still have been blessed.

Okay - so that little side story.

A couple of years ago when I was home visiting my family in Arizona, my dad came across a small envelope with my name on it. It was still sealed indicating that it had never been opened. I recognized the writing immediately and held my breath as I opened it. It was a valentine, from Scott. I don't know where it came from. I don't know if it had been delivered to my home and was confiscated, misplaced or if it was to be passed on to me by a sibling, I really don't know. All I know is that if I had read it on that Valentines Day 16ish years ago things might have been very different. Ahhhh, if onlys. Crazy stuff. You just don't really understand at the age 0f 17 what your choices really mean. You can't go back and change it once your hindsight brings your vision back into 20/20. Just gotta move ahead, accepting responsibility for your choices, keeping your covenants, and learning to be happy. I know there are many things that have happened in my life for a reason, things that were meant to be, even things that I HATE! I just still wonder and I guess I believe that I could have avoided a lot of pain if some of my choices had been different.

Here's to first loves, and to youth and stupidity!